The gift of sensation… “Blind Walk” Intimacy Game. Intimacy Warriors Photoshoot. Image by Valerie Zimmer Photography.
FOR THE MIND…
Sex at Dawn, Chris Ryan and Cacilda Jetha’s groundbreaking book about human promiscuity (from an anthropological perspective)
For whom? Anybody who wants to peel back the standard narrative of monogamy being the “one true natural way,” women “not wanting sex as much as men,” etc.
Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies, a book by Michael J. Bader that absolutely blew my mind open and had me understand so much more about my sexual psyche
For whom? People curious about what their fantasies mean…
mating in captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence, Esther Perel’s seminal book about managing the paradox of the dual human desires for stability and excitement
For whom? People in a monogamous relationship, trying to figure out how to keep the spark alive. Also: humans who want to understand their conflicting desires!
The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity, Esther Perel’s newest book, attempting to bring nuance and compassion to a vilified topic
For whom: Well… let’s just say anyone for whom infidelity is a hot button issue.
The Ethical Slut, by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy, possibly the first work of its kind to celebrate nonmonogamy, promiscuity, and indulging one’s sexual appetite while teaching people how to simultaneously respect others and themselves
For whom: Those with a voracious sex drive.
Tiny Beautiful Things, by Cheryl Strayed, a compilation of some of her advice columns from the time she penned “Dear Sugar.” Incredible, compassionate, cavernous, and heart-wrenchingly-written wisdom here.
For whom: Anyone with a heart.
Untrue, Wednesday Martin’s newest book, which debunks myths about female sexuality, and offers, as Martin usually does, an anthropological bent.
For whom: I’m gonna say – for the mens who don’t get it… yet.
Pussy: A Reclamation, Regena Thomashauer, aka Mama Gena’s book about celebrating our deliriously sensual life force. I listened to this book while driving across the country last year – twice. I finished it once, and immediately played it again.
For whom? Anyone with a pussy, or anyone who loves them.
The Jealousy Workbook: exercises and insights for managing open relationships, a book that I am just so glad exists.
For whom? You know whom.
FOR THE BODY…
Skyn condoms, the only kind that don’t irritate my super-sensitive insides!
For whom: Y’know, people who could biologically make the babies … who don’t want The Pregnancy.
Pinwheel, aka Wartenberg wheel – one of my favorite sensation play toys. Spikily delicious!
For whom: People who rub themselves against sharp objects and stroke their own arms.
Riding crop – an excellent tool for impact play. When used to strike, it creates a little sharp sensation and a satisfying sound. When used to stroke, it becomes tantalizingly gentle.
For whom? The naughty. And the nice. Depending.
Nutiva organic coconut oil – my favorite massage oil AND my favorite lube (although not for use with condoms, the experts say). It smells deLICIOUS.
For whom? Lovers who don’t use condoms and prefer a non-fabricated lubricant. Those with easily irritated pussies. Anyone who wants to give or receive a nice massage (including to oneself). Mm. Good idea. I’ll go do that now.
Uberlube – my preferred lube when condoms are involved. Super smooth.
For whom? Those pairing lube with condoms. Those interested in anal play (use lube!)
Ostrich feathers, delicious to tickle your lover with.
For whom? Ones who relish a good tease.
