I am the guest for the “Inside a Virtual Sex Party” episode of Wendy Miller’s snappy, playful, and informative podcast Sex Ed the Musical!
I think you’ll enjoy our rapport. (Read: we make each other laugh, and it is delightful.)
Wendy was the head of programming at Playboy TV for a good long time, so she has a Load of Tales and a Great Sense of Humor.
Sex Ed the Musical is not actually a musical (in case you don’t like musicals) but it does have wonderful jingles — which were sung by my phenomenal podcast guest and all-around badass, excellent human, Pamela Samuelson, who introduced me to Wendy (thanks Pamela)!
Here’s an excerpt of what Wendy wrote about our first of many (if I have anything to say about it!) collaborations together:
We already know that due to the COVID-19 pandemic, it’s not currently safe to attend a crowded restaurant. It’s also not safe to attend a busy gym or to attend large religious gatherings.
So…it’s almost certainly not safe to attend an orgy.
What’s a sexually adventurous person to do?
Attend one online?
That’s right, thanks to the pandemic, some folks are now opting for video platforms such as Skype, Zoom and FaceTime for their orgies.
But, despite the fact that they are having a moment, Zoom, is not exactly thrilled with this burgeoning use for their beloved platform. They announced earlier this year that they were going to crack down (no pun intended) on “unacceptable use” and use machine learning to detect sex parties and nudity. For research. Totally.
With so much Zoom usage due to the pandemic, the platform faced a huge privacy and security backlash as their default settings lacked real security. Suddenly pranksters started crashing private Zoom meetings, playing offensive videos and being all around creeps.
Zoom, you have much bigger problems than policing a bunch of consensual orgies!
Now that virtual play parties are the new normal and actually a very safe entry point into the sex party world, how do you find one? What happens when you get in? What are the rules?
My guest Lila Donnolo is a veteran host and sex educator. The brilliant mind behind the podcast horizontal with lila, she is a founding member of Hacienda Villa, a sex-positive intentional community in Brooklyn, NY. Lila is an expert in making private conversations public, being in service of eradicating shame, and at cultivating connection. On this episode, she reveals:
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- Exactly what you need to do to get invited to a virtual sex party
- The importance of knowing and following the rules
- How you let attendees know if you’re interested in e-playing with them
- How you protect your privacy once you start playing, and…
- Even how you protect your keyboard
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These are things you need to do before you screw…online.
During our conversation, we also reflect back on the sex party I attended without my husband last year, and the lessons I learned from that crazy night.
Contact Lila here for your Personal Intimacy Roadmap, 60-minute sessions of sex-positive, judgment-free, kink-aware, LGBTQ+ celebratory, gender-affirming guidance on your intimate struggles.
