horizontal does america, beginning with this dock in edgewater, nj
I’m writing this message from the mechanic’s. Is that what you call it? The auto body shop? The shop? On day two of my solo cross-country journey, I lowered the rear windows for a burst of fresh air … and one of them wouldn’t go back up. Womp-womp! So as I type I am enjoying the free Wi-Fi and Firestone-tire ambience of the mechanic’s waiting room. In good news, being able to close the window will mean (aside from the vehicle looking less attractive to robber people) that I can hear all the podcasts I’ve been listening to without crouching over the steering wheel!
My wanderlust has been kicking in. For the past five years, I’ve wanted to be in the Southwest around my birthday (October 16th). One year I didn’t have the funds, another year I was performing, last year I had a boyfriend who curated a mini-retreat for me … and the Southwest got pushed back another year. But this year. This year!
I began at my friend’s boat in Edgewater, New Jersey. His company, Lucid Studios, is partially sponsoring my horizontal with lila podcasting tour by lending me the means to get where I am going: the wheels! It’s just me, a Honda Civic, and a backpackful of recording equipment. (Ok, and a whole lot of clothes and a folding bicycle and stuff.) Packing list *included:
Blanket with Snaps
Condoms & lube
Wonder Woman outfit
Disco ball cup
All the panties
* none of these are fabricated for effect. this was about half of my actual packing list.
There have been a few financial setbacks and miscalculations on my part. (For instance, I saved to buy a $650 recorder, but didn’t realize that I’d have to buy $250 worth of battery equipment to make the recorder work. It doesn’t come with a battery? I was forced to purchase the $90 Battery! The battery charger, which they sell separately! An AC adapter! And, my favorite, a $40 battery cartridge to put the battery on the recorder! Gahh! I shake my fist at you, Sound Devices! Truth: I actually wound up crying a little bit in the B&H.)
Many people have asked if I have a “gas fund.” I have one better! If you’ve been waiting for the right moment to get involved as a horizontal patron, now is the time! You can be a vital part of this cross-country adventure. Support horizontal at any level from $1 a month on up, and be rewarded! The rewards get more and more sumptuous! I’ve heard that some people I know are embarrassed to support at the $1 level, and that’s why they hadn’t contributed – please know that I celebrate every dollar. Each one means that you support my mission of spreading intimacy across the globe. I do an elaborate happy dance every time I get word of a new patron. When I reach $100 a month, I shall record said happy dance video, so that you can see what I mean by “elaborate.”
I’m on a boat! horizontal in edgewater, nj on Capricious Joy
From Edgewater, I drove three hours upstate to my Dad’s house, a perpetual construction zone. I went. I saw. I vacuumed. The next day I drove to Burlington, Vermont, where I stayed in the house of my friend’s comet (see glossary on horizontalwithlila.com for the meaning of a “comet,” if you’re unfamiliar). I stayed in his “ghost roommate’s” room. She’s never around, so she said I could crash. Thank you, ghost roommate!
There in Burlington, I had my first little heartbreak of this trip. I recorded a beautiful conversation with Lola D. Houston, a sex and intimacy coach, kink aficionado, swing dancer, a woman of a later-in-life gender transition. I learned so much during this conversation, about Lola’s work with consent, which she calls “Getting to the Deep Hot Yes,” about kink conferences, and about self-inquiry that I need to do.
And, dear reader, I did not record it.
In the wild eventfulness of purchasing and packing and spending twelve hours making a candy mandala for our Rainbow Playground-themed play party at the Villa and having my first good threesome, I neglected to learn about my new sound equipment, figuring that one field recorder would be pretty much as intuitive as another.
And I was wrong.
Somehow, the night before, I had managed to record the intro to episode 14, which I did immediately upon arriving in Burlington, Vermont – by clipping my microphone onto the steering wheel, reclining my seat, and stuffing a fuzzy blanket under the sun visors to create a canopy. But when I tried to do the same thing in order to record with Lola, I couldn’t hear anything through the headphones (even with the gain – the volume – turned all the way up), and when I played it back through the recorder, still nothing. I plugged the SD card into my computer, and, lo and behold, it sounded great. It was indeed recording. Relieved, we commenced our two hour recording session. I could see the channel button glowing green, and felt assured that I was capturing everything. And then today. When I put the SD card back into the computer … it wasn’t there. I did something wrong, and I’m not even sure what it was yet.
I mourn the loss of that beautiful conversation, and my inability to share it with you.
I will now be up late reading the manual from cover to cover and watching YouTube tutorials. This is the first time I’ve failed to record an entire episode since my initial attempt in January, when I recorded a 45-minute introductory episode to horizontal, finished, pressed the button to pause the recording … and it started to record. That was just me recording solo, so after a laugh with my roommates and a head-shake of great chagrin at myself, I went right back in my room and recorded it again. (I wound up not releasing it, in favor of launching forth with the pillow talk.) It will have to be another time with Lola. I hope soon. She has so much to offer!
This would be a very easy gateway to self-flagellation for me. But I’m not going to do that this time. This time, I’m just going to do my research. And learn. I can’t un-happen it. I can’t get that recording back. I can just make sure that it works when, tonight, I record with my dearest friend from high school.
If you know any fabulous sex-positive folks with great juju and exciting stories who live in other states, particularly in Iowa, North or South Dakota, Montana, the Southwest (especially Arizona/New Mexico), Texas, Missouri, Alabama, and Southern Georgia, please connect us. And off I go!