Yes. A real Wizard. (What do you think it means?)
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Devin: In Eastern religions for example, they’re very into chronicling the lineage. So, in, some Hindu school, this master achieved enlightenment, and then he taught these students, who, people are like, verified as yes, that person got it, and then that person taught this person, and so someone who is presenting themselves as a guru, would say, “This is my lineage, that goes all the way back and hits these other great renowned masters, and I have gotten the secret from them, who got the secret from them, who got the secret from them, and that is a way of verifying the authenticity of your claim, and a lot of New Age and modern occult stuff, I think really has this thirst for authenticity — everyone wants to find the moldy book in the back of the bookshop that is (grumbly magical voice) the Real One, that has the Real Secret Knowledge (back to regular Wizard voice) and so you get a simulacrum of that, where you have things like Wicca that are claiming this idea that this was descended, or the Druid religion is pretty similarly, I think, constructed, and, we want to tie it back to some old tradition that pre-dates modernity, but really it’s a modern creation — which I as a Wizard, think is awesome! And I think it’s totally fine to make stuff up, and we should embrace that, rather than try and lie to ourselves and pretend that we’re—
Kevin: I mean, no judgment on making shit up! A lot of things we love and revere are made up! You could say all religions and all concepts of God are made up by somebody, or, the collective unconscious, whatever you wanna think about it […] Religions don’t have to be thousands of years old to be religions. They can definitely be religions if they’re only 60 years old, but we just have to— get real about where they came from.
Kevin: The people that tend to be skeptical about Tarot have a certain idea of what Tarot should be. They’re like, the fortune teller, I’m gonna “tell their future,” kind of thing, and I’m like, “Okay cool— I’m not gonna do that; I’m not gonna even attempt to do that. Here’s what Tarot really is.” And I just start having a conversation with them.
Lila: Can you define Tarot for me?
Kevin: Sure. Tarot is a pack of 78 cards, with pictures on them, that tell a story. And a tarot reader lays out a number of those cards for a person, and for a person’s question, and threads a narrative through the cards, that relate to that person’s question, and their life. That’s how I do a Tarot reading.
Lila: Using your intuition about the person who’s sitting in front of you, plus the symbols that are coming up, and the order in which they come up. And the placement in which they come up.
how tarot readings are like sex
Kevin: It’s not that dissimilar to sex, either, that some people just want you to do sex to them. And some people just want you to do tarot to them. And it’s like, “Alright, I can do this ‘cause I know how to do it, but…”
Devin: Magic is about training yourself and training your imagination to see things that aren’t really there, which then allows you to see what your imagination is putting there. And that can give you information that your conscious mind does not have. So, you don’t have to think of it as a flesh-and-blood demon that lives its own external life, completely unrelated to yours, but maybe, it’s a bad habit, and you’re able to personify it, and give it a name and give it a character and a structure, and then when you start interrogating it, at first you’re gonna feel really silly, and you’re gonna feel like you’re talking to yourself and it’s gonna feel stupid, but if you get better at this, it’s gonna start talking back, and it’s gonna give you information that you didn’t have or, weren’t aware of. And that concept blew my mind.
O patrons my patrons!
I’m delighted to present to you your exclusive part two episode of my slanted and enchanted conversation with Devin & Kevin, a Wizard and a Tarot dealer.
In episode 85. well-hung psychedelic sex wizard / no hookups: between two wizards, we talked about the origin of the White Collar Wizard emails, middle-school boys and cock-shaming, Devin’s first acid trip, in 8th grade, the grand Bohemia of Olympia, Washington, learning that you aren’t supposed to come too fast if you have a penis, sleep-sexing, learning about sex by asking a sexual partner, “What is your other sex like?”, Devin’s Wizard Tinder profile, 80s Penthouse, imprinting on your first porn, Kevin’s therapist, Ethical Porn for Dicks, shame-y, judgemental sex, and how some fantasies should just remain fantasies.
horizontal with my Wizard friend. Greenpoint, Brooklyn. May 2019
In this, episode 86. you’re trying to porn sex me: between two wizards, we meander mightily… Kevin tells me his Tarot dealing origin story, and Devin tells the tale of how his hair turned Wizard white.
We of course discuss porn, sex, and magic.
We talk about post-vivems (as opposed to post-mortems), lube, and their childhood fascinations with religion and magic.
They explain Dungeons & Dragons to me.
We discuss:
* modern occult’s thirst for authenticity
* making up rituals, what Tarot actually is
* paying homage to the Weed Gods
* reality tunnels and modern magicians
* how belief is a kind of magic
* girlfriend-adjacent masculinity
* New Age & Chill, their previous event collaboration, and
* The Wizarding Hour, their current event collaboration
And then they read us some of their private wizard emails, including one penned the day after Devin met his fiancee.
This episode was mixed and mastered by Irving Gadhoury. You can find him for all your audio needs (including recording live music!) at IGrecording.com. As ever, my lovely intro music was composed by Alan Markley, on the Instagram as @plasticcannons, and my saucy likeness of a logo was illustrated by Shana Shay, whom you can hire through 99 designs.
horizontal at The Confetti Project in celebration of the horizontal 2-Year-Aversary (& the patrons who helped happen it!). May 21st, 2019
Welcome to my newest patrons:
Hannah
Jacob
Elena
Eeva
Jennifer
Claudia
Thea
Daniela
Lex, &
Rose.
And an extra little Happy Dance for:
Jeff
Rex
Pat
Lauren
Bob
Madeline
& Evyn…
for raising their pledges over the past few months.
Evyn has also been assisting me, and we are co-creating ways to facilitate connection amongst us all. We’re planning a picnic in Prospect Park for early September! Thank you Evyn, for believing in me so much that you are willing to put your life force behind my vision. I feel so much gratitude.
And thank you all — thank you thank you thank you — for being the lifeblood of horizontal.
Now come lie down with us again. It’s magically delicious!
horizontal between two Wizards in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. May 2019
Until next time, my patrons: May you have someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to…
I’m looking forward to attending the biggest podcast conference IN ALL THE LAND, Podcast Movement, which will be in mid-August in Orlando, Florida. If you know anyone phenomenal in Orlando, please connect us!
To listen to this episode, click the saucy redhead on the peach background, and become a patron of the horizontal arts…
